Enough Already

I haven't been able to get out of bed for almost 2 days.
I cry every time I think about it.
It hurts so much knowing Kenny got everything he wanted. It all comes down to money and lies. He has money and could make this go on forever. He lied and manipulated his way into getting what he wanted.
People have been sweet. Calling, e-mail and even Linds Hatch came over yesterday with flowers and gave me a hug. So not like her. :) But so thoughtful.
I just don't see how he thinks he can come up her 2 days a week and then drive back in the morning. Even typing this makes my stomach turn. How can this be good on a child? I prayed that the best possible thing would happen for Bella. And the truth is people have agency and there are still man made laws. So Kenny wins. It just makes me sick.
I can't even think about child support. Nothing has been figured out yet but I'm sure I'l lose again because that's just the way things are going for us.
I'm so tired of looking around at friends and family who have it so well.
I would love to be a good mom who isn't stressed and one who is happy all the time.
I would love to be able to afford to take the kids on a trip.
Thinking about everything literately makes my head hurt.
I can't stop crying.
The poor little girls have seen me cry way too much.